I Messed Up: How NOT to Make Mac and Cheese

Friday I woke up from an afternoon nap with a vision: homemade mac and cheese with oven roasted chicken. I rushed from my bed into my kitchen and unpacked my vision like I was a chef on chopped. I seasoned the chicken, made the noodles, and prepared a hot sauce infused breadcrumb topping for the mac and cheese.

Everything was going perfectly until I realized I didn’t have any milk for my cheese mixture. I opened the fridge and saw it: my roommate’s heavy cream, placed on the top shelf with the refrigerator light casting a light like it was sent from heaven. A splash of the cream and the cheese mixture became the perfect texture. Seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and topped with the toasted hot sauce infused breadcrumbs, this mac and cheese outshined the chicken. I bragged about this mac and cheese to everyone. But when I sent the photo of my plate to my boyfriend, he said the photo looked bad. I agreed and decided I would try again Saturday to refine the recipe and take better photos.

Saturday, with the adrenaline of creating a dish that matched my vision, I returned to the kitchen eager to create better photos and recreate the magic of the previous night’s meal. I combined 2 tablespoons of breadcrumbs with a sprinkle of onion powder, garlic powder, grated parmesan, pepper, and 10 drops of hot sauce before toasting it in a pan with melted butter. I removed the cooked noodles from the pot then added a spoonful of butter, half a cup of Colby cheese, and two tablespoons of my roommate’s heavy cream. Seasoned with the same spices as the breadcrumbs. It formed a perfect sauce, even better than Friday night. I thought I’d go an extra step and make a roux. So I added a spoonful of flour.

Immediately, my perfect sauce turned into slime. The cheese clumped together to form a terrifying glob. I added more cream, more cheese, but nothing worked. I didn’t give up, so I added back the noodles and things started to look up.

I added the noodles and the topping into a dish and put it in a 350 degree oven for 8 minutes. The sauce was already dry due to the cheese goop, so putting it in the oven with breadcrumbs only made it more dry. I didn’t want to waste the meal, so I took better photos, and ate feeling defeated after the previous night’s victory. The photos don’t match my disappointment.

As I was putting everything away, I noticed my roommate’s heavy cream expired April 23rd. Thinking it was weeks before that date, I shrugged this off. Hours later with a rumbling stomach, I confirmed it was not a week
before the expiration date. It was April 27th. So what’s the point of this story? Don’t be afraid to look up a recipe.
And don’t be afraid to ask your roommate to use their food, you won’t regret it.