Jealous

i wanted to be his carbon copy
half of his being, half of his heart.
to have the brown eyes that grounded the majority
the ones that stared at me with a sense of longevity.
wanted to feel less like a product of something sloppy
a potential plan, a potential start.
i always wondered who or what kept you from me
a one night stands in slutty clothes
or substances with more substance than me?
i wanted something…a maybe?
i don’t know maybe that’s a stretch
too much to ask from someone like you